Whether you are in the market for a light-hearted no strings attached encounter or are looking for a life-long partner the best advice and tips remain the same. Should you choose to search out this new partner through digital methods such as online dating or you prefer the more traditional approach, it is important to consider the same factors.
- Any new adventure into dating should be thought out ahead of time. Identify what type of relationship you are looking for, what the ideal characteristics are for your partner, and evaluate what you are capable and ready to give. Knowing these three important factors will help you to find the right partner for what you are looking for.
- It is important to be honest and upfront when you are learning about your new potential partner on both dating sites and in person. If you are only looking for a casual adventure, just say so. While this may not get you the person you are talking to at that particular moment, it is a far more ethical way to handle yourself.
There are plenty of individuals looking for no strings attached type relationships, friends with benefits, or random hookups, so misleading someone into thinking you are looking for a lifelong commitment is not only unnecessary, but it’s not very fair or nice either.
- Present yourself in an honest way. Creating a new relationship based on a series of lies is going to be pretty hard to maintain. Over time, this will be very hard to keep track of and live up to and both parties may end up getting hurt. You want a partner who wants to be with you, not the fictitious person you’ve made up. If someone doesn’t like you just as you are, you probably shouldn’t be with them anyway and the relationship is likely to break down before long.
- Try not to be upset if you face rejection. This is bound to happen at some point and is a natural part of dating. These individuals are not rejecting you personally as a human, they are indicating that your personality traits, wants and desires, ideals, goals, or relationship intents do not match up with theirs.
While it always hurts a little to hear that you are not what someone wants, keep in mind that the end goal is for you to find someone who wants and accepts you just as you are. This fosters and builds the best relationships and can help create strong foundations that can withstand time.
- Be open and honest about both you as a person and what you want from a partner but be realistic. Know what things you will not accept from a person and keep those in mind when you are looking for a new partner. If you are against alcohol use, for example, dating a guy that drinks a case of beer every night is just not going to work. Don’t expect to change a person’s character; they are who they are. If you see anything that is on your no-go list, just thank them for meeting with you and move along. Be honest about who you are and what you want.
- When meeting a new potential partner make sure you show up looking like you’ve made an effort. Shower, brush your teeth, and put on clean clothing. You don’t have to present yourself in a way that you would not appear on a daily basis, but it is important to pay attention to basic personal hygiene. Nothing is more off-putting than a date showing up smelling like yesterday’s socks with fur on their teeth. Dress appropriately for the date you are going on. If you are going to a fine dining restaurant, your attire should be different than if you were going hiking.
- Don’t spend your time getting to know someone harping about your ex. No one wants to hear this. If they do, they’ll ask at some point. If it is absolutely necessary to divulge some aspect of this past relationship, state only what is absolutely necessary and move along. Bashing your ex only makes it appear as if you are not over the relationship, have issues with boundaries, or hold a grudge, none of which are attractive to anyone. That being said, it is best to be fully over your last relationship before looking to start a new one. While abuse or other major negative life events do have effects that will remain with you on some level or another your entire life, you should be past the point where these will limit your ability to have a successful relationship before you begin one.
- If you’ve gone out on a date and are not interested in the person, don’t lead them to believe otherwise. No one likes to be strung along. Simply say that you are not interested and thank them for meeting with you. If you do not feel safe doing this in person, do so via whatever communication method you have been using up to this point. It is always preferable to let someone down or break up with them in person as long as it does not put you in any danger. This is much a much more respectful and considerate way to approach the subject. While it may prove to be an uncomfortable conversation, honesty and respect are the best methods of approach.
- Arrange to meet new potential partners in a safe and public location. It is not in your best interest safety-wise to meet anyone you don’t know in a private or isolated space. While most people are harmless, we are all aware that this is not always the case. Protect yourself and meet anyone you do not know personally in advance in a public area. Arrive on your own and arrange transportation to leave on your own.
Make sure a trusted friend or family member is aware of your plans and give them the name, phone number, and area of residence (just a town or area of town if you don’t know the specifics) of the person you are meeting with. Advise this person when you will be expected back and contact them should anything change. Call or text them when you’ve arrived safely home. While this may be dismissed as being a bit paranoid, things do happen and it is better to be safe than sorry.