Penises Big and Small … Why We Love them All

Every person is a unique individual with different personality traits, physical traits, morals, and ideas. Penises are as unique and special as the individuals who possess them. There is no one perfect personality, physical body, or mind, why should we expect all penises to be one and the same?

dancingMedia has put people in the spotlight, photoshopped them to unrecognizable levels, and put only on display what they decide is worthy of notice.

Not only have they improperly created a standard of basic physical beauty, they’ve gone so far as to critique even the most personal aspects of humanity such as what makes up the perfect genitalia. This unrealistic set of ideals has meant that many people have become ashamed of the very thing they should take pride in…their uniqueness.

Penis Length

The shortest penis recorded was a micropenis which measured 0.39 inches (1 cm), while the largest on record is 13.5 inches (34 cm) long and 6.25 inches (16 cm) wide. While medical factors can contribute to the length, girth, and shape of a penis, its length is just a factor which makes every man’s penis different.

Girth-wise, penises can range anywhere from less than a half inch to nearly 7 inches around. Now that the records are out of the way, we can safely say that men’s penises are anywhere between 0.39 and 13.5 inches in length and anywhere from about half an inch to 7 inches around.

Penis Shape

Penis shape is another component of penis aesthetics which can make men feel a little less than confident in their equipment should they fall in line with considering main stream media’s idea of perfection the reality.

The head of a penis can be triangular, helmet, knob, bullet, or standard in shape and can be thinner or thicker than the shaft itself or may even come in a mushroom shape. Circumcised or left natural, penises may also have a wide variety of angles or bends to make them unique and fantastic.

erection-problemsErectile Dysfunction

Regardless of size or shape, all penises are perfect even when erectile dysfunction is present. Many factors can affect the intensity and ability to get or maintain an erection including age, diabetes, blood pressure, hormonal or psychological factors such as stress and many other health conditions. This condition can be temporary or permanent and many men can be left feeling less-than-perfect due to this complaint.

Discuss any difficulties achieving or maintaining erection with your primary care physician who can help to determine whether an underlying health issues could be affecting your ability to maintain an erection and to talk about possible solutions.

Love Thyself

They key to a happy and healthy sex life is not the shape or size of the equipment itself. Providing your partner and yourself with pleasure, enjoying each other’s bodies because of their differences, and loving those very differences can be a whole new source of confidence. It is always wise to focus on what you do have instead of comparing it to what you don’t. There is no such thing as an ideal penis. There are false media representations of what an ideal penis should be which likely represent a very small number of the actual penises out there. The majority, instead, are as unique and lovable as their owners.

Penises come in a wide variety of colors, shapes, and sizes and it’s about time we all start thinking of them as extraordinary and appreciate their differences while promoting acceptance. Whether a penis is short or long, thin or thick, straight or curved, or has a unique head, their differences are what makes them interesting. Let your penis lie flaccid or stand proud in the knowledge that you love him just as he is. Love your penis and love yourself.


Medical Penis Stretcher – What is This?

While studies and medical doctors state that the average erect penis is somewhere between 4 and 6 inches, many men feel that having an organ of this size simply isn’t acceptable. While some men dream of having a larger penis, other men actually take steps to do something about it.

  • Some of you believe in miracle cures and will try pills or creams that promise to enlarge your penis.
  • Other men are more realistic and turn to penis stretcher devices to permanently increase the size of their penis.

stretching-deviceA Brief History of Penis Stretching

As surprising as it may seem, penis stretching actually dates back thousands of years.

It was not uncommon for men in certain parts of the world and in certain cultures to sit around for hours a day, pulling on their member in order to increase it’s length. Later someone came to the conclusion that attaching stones to a string and attaching that to the penis would provide a steady pulling pressure to the penis and cause the member to enlarge in size. While this did work, it still required a man to sit around hours a day with his privates exposed while the rocks did their magic.

While it is hard to imagine any man even those living in ancient times sitting around for hours a day, for up to year with rocks on their penis simply to add a half of inch, the fact is that these men did and they got results for doing so.

penis-stretcherModern Day Penis Stretcher Devices

Today most men simply don’t have the time or the desire to sit around pulling on their penis with their hand, or tying rocks to their member. In fact, most people would think a man who did so was beyond strange and far from normal.

Luckily, technologically has advanced to the point that science has actually allowed for the making of what is known as a penis stretcher or penis extender.

Modern medically tested traction devices featured at this website can be worn at night while you are sleeping allowing you to avoid spending 4 to 5 hours a day sitting around with your family jewels hanging out. Also today’s penis stretchers are not simply used to increase penis length, but rather is used to to straighten curved or bent shafts.

Length of Time Before you see Growth

Do keep in mind that penis stretching is a slow process and that it will take to 6 months to a year for you to see any results. In addition, you have to be realistic regarding just how much growth you are likely to see. Penis enlargement is not going to result in 3 or 4 inch gains, but rather a much more modest ½ inch to 1 ½ inches at best but you do need to keep in mind that it does work for every man who would like a larger penis.

Is it Safe to Use a Penis Stretcher?

While penis stretching can be effective the main question is whether or not it is safe. The truth is that some penis extenders are better and safer than others.

Buying a poorly designed traction device could result in injuries that could affect your sex life, so be sure to look for those top rated products that are designed to be effective. When looking for the safest piece of equipment look for the following features:

  • A Traction device that is made of medical grade materials.
  • Look for a device that bears a CE seal. (This is a stamp of safety given by European Health authorities)
  • A Device that is recommended by a physician.

Is Stretching Painful?

Many men feel that stretching the penis is much like exercising and building muscle and hold to the adage of “no pain, no gain.” While this may be true in building up those biceps, there should be no pain involved when stretching your penis. If you feel pain you should stop immediately and seek medical care if you continue to experience pain either when your member is at rest or you have an erection.

Is Penis Enlargement Right for You?

Whether or not penis extension is right for you, is only a decision that you can make. If your organ is normal size, then simply accepting your size is the safest course of action. However, if you have a curved or bent penis or one that is slightly smaller than normal, then you might want to consider a penis stretcher to correct your problem. However, it is always a good idea to speak with your doctor to make sure that it will have benefits and not cause harm.

Should You Exercise Your Penis?

While most people know that exercise is good for your body and your health, that doesn’t mean that exercises designed for specific parts of your body are either healthy or effective. Take for example penis exercises, some men will do anything to try to and enlarge their penis including searching the net for those penis exercises that promise you that if you spend enough time and effort exercising your penis that you will actually add length and girth. While there is absolutely no proof that penile exercises will increase the size of your penis, you may still find yourself wondering if exercising this part of your body have any benefits at all. If you find yourself asking the question “Should You Exercise your penis for any reason.” Then getting the facts on the pros and cons of these exercises will help you make a more informed decision.

penis-exercisesWhat Penis Exercises Can Do For You

While there is absolutely no evidence that penis exercisers will increase the size of your penis, (the penis has no muscles) there is some evidence that exercising your member can help to stimulate blood flow to your member resulting in harder erections for those men who have difficulty becoming fully erect.

In some cases penis exercises can help people suffering from penile dysfunction achieve and maintain a harder erection, but achieving harder erections through this method takes a great deal of time often taking 6 months or more before seeing results.

However, in all honesty there are other methods of gaining and maintaining a harder erection that doesn’t require manual manipulation of the penis several times a day for several minutes a day. After all if you work a full time job and have any kind of a social life, you aren’t going to have the time or desire to take 3, 4, or 5 15 minute breaks a day to exercise that important member.

Successfully Exercising May Be Impossible

Another thing to consider is that successfully exercising that penis may be difficult if not impossible. Many of the exercises for the penis requires that penis be semi-erect while exercising. This poses a problem for many men because man handling their member often results in a full hard erection that makes it impossible to actually complete the exercises.

Possible Injury

One thing that most proponents of penis exercises don’t tell you is that if your exercise your member the wrong way, pull to hard, or make any number of other mistakes you could actually end up injuring your penis. In the most severe cases you may suffer nerve damage that can result in your experiencing loss of sensation and even pain when performing the sexual act.

Penis exercises simply don’t have enough benefits to make it worth the risk of injury.

After learning these facts regarding penis exercises, it is up to you whether to partake in these exercises or not. However, if you do choose to go ahead and exercise your member, then at least speak to your physician prior to embarking on any of these exercises.

Penis Traction Devices

If you ever feel a twinge of shame about your penis size and find yourself wishing your it were bigger, you are in good company – many men feel inadequate due to their penis size and as a result, feel inadequate in areas other than just the bedroom. Luckily, experts have teamed up to bring a number of penis enlargement products to the marketplace including supplements, traction devices, as well as surgery. Downsides for many supplements can include insomnia, hearing loss, and increased heartbeat and surgical downsides can include loss of girth, nodule formation, and scarring, among others.

penis-tractionWhile supplements and surgery may appear to be “quick fixes,” traction devices truly lengthen the penis safely and effectively – not to mention painlessly! Many different devices are available for purchase on the Internet today so it is up to you to determine which device best fits your lifestyle.

Unlike supplements, traction devices increase the size of both the erection and the flaccid penis; supplements can only increase the size of an erection. While traction devices don’t have any downsides, benefits include greater length and girth, harder and longer lasting erections, and improved confidence.

These devices stretch the penis, encouraging cell multiplication, new tissue growth, and increased blood flow.

male-edge-penis-extenderThe Male Edge Penis Enlarger

            The Male Edge is a flexible brace-like structure that easily slips over the flaccid penis and can be worn under loose fitting boxer shorts and pants. The guide advises the user to begin wearing it only one hour each day and then increasing by an hour each week (wear for two hours in week two, three hours in week three, etc.) until the user is wearing it for six hours each day.

The user slips his penis through a ring on the device, places the ring against the member’s base, and adjusts the strap behind the glans. The desired length is adjustable via the device’s rods, though the guide does advise specific traction per week. When the user is completely satisfied with his results, he may choose to stop using the device.

Watch the Video: Penis Traction – The Natural Way to Make Your Penis Bigger

Phallosan® forte

This device is the only one of its kind – it is an orthopedic belt with vacuum technology that encompasses the whole penis, whereas most traction devices start with tension behind the glans. It is worn like a belt and the suction bell is placed over the penis, protecting the glans and foreskin. The device can easily be worn up to twelve hours a day and the belt tension can be adjusted whenever necessary. Because it is so easy and painless to wear, users should be careful to not adjust the tension too high as success comes from regular use over time and not just increased tension.


            Like the Male Edge, the PeniMaster is a device with a holding support for the penis with adjustable rods to increase and decrease tension. Unlike the Male Edge, however, this device can be worn alone or with a number of supporting belts and additional devices include a rod expander system and a belt expander.

JELQ Device

            Although it is possible to jelq by hand – that is, squeeze and stroke the penis in an effort to force blood flow to the tip, thereby increasing length and girth – it can lead to fatigue and cramping in the hand. The JELQ device simulates this motion by providing constant pressure on the shaft of the user’s penis with less effort by the hand. This device should be used fifteen to twenty minutes three to five days each week. While results should appear within a few days of the initial use, optimum results occur after at least ninety days of use.

X4 Labs Review Explained

Penis extenders have become quite popular among men who want to achieve a bigger penis. One reason for this popularity is due to the fact that they are the safest and most effective way to increase the size of your penis. Since most men depend on user reviews when choosing a product that is well designed and safe for them, we thought that we should help you better understand what to take care for and what to ignore.

What is the X4 Labs Penis Extender?

x4-labs-reviewed-#1Before we get into what real users have to say and what their reviews actually mean, we first should explain a few things about the X4 Labs Penis Extender. First, you may take a look at this website and see this is a complete traction system, that is designed to effectively and efficiently extend your penis by inches.

The X4 Penis Extender comes if a variety of different sizes and price ranges, and actually let’s you customize your experience by allowing you to choose between using tubes or a comfort strap for your penis enlargement. The product’s design is based on 10 years of research and actually comes with a 6 month guarantee.

Synopsis of X4 Labs Reviews

Like any product that is for sale there are positive and negative reviews concerning the X4 Labs Penis extender.
In addition, user comments run the gambit from glowing statements about how great this penis enlarger works, to those who state it did nothing to improve their size.

Here are some of the specific comments that users have made and our explanation as to what these comments really mean.

  • x4-labs-5-star-rating“High Quality Product, One of the best Penis extenders on the market.”

    This is actually a true statement as not only did a decade of research go into into making this product, but this penis traction device is one of the few that is actually medically tested and certified as being both safe an effective for enlarging your penis.

    You simply are not going to find many similar products that have been certified as effective by the medical community.

  • “The Quad support kit is the best!” X4 Labs offers a number of penis traction kits, but the quad support system we believe to be the best of the best because it offers a variety of ways to support the fixation making it easy to adjust it so that you get the most comfortable kit for you.
  • doctor-approved“Comfortable or Uncomfortable” depending on which x4 labs review you happen to be reading.

    The simple truth is that the X4 Labs extender is does not cause discomfort.

    While many of users do state that this penis stretching device is comfortable to wear, those few that find it uncomfortable, are the ones that simply having acknowledged that using traction to gain inches is going to be different than having nothing attached the penis. While we certainly would not describe this penis extender as comfortable in the same buying new mattress may offer a comfortable nights sleep, it is easy to get use to wearing this device and there is nothing about that causes actual pain or discomfort when used according to directions. In addition, some the X4 kits offer the option between using a noose or a comfort strap, making it easier for users to find the right option for their own personal comfort.

  • “Expensive.”

    How expensive a devise appears to be is actually a matter of perspective. While there are cheaper extenders out there, few of the other extender on the market are of the quality of this extender. In addition, there aren’t many other extender kits out there to compare prices as most penis extenders don’t offer you any choice in how to extend your penis, making it less likely for you to customize the extender so that it is comfortable for you.

    You also need to keep in mind that X4 Labs makes different sizes of kits with a variety of price ranges, so if one kit is beyond your budget another might be more suitable to your budget.

  • “Complicated” While we will admit that when you look at everything you get with a X4 labs penis stretching kit it does look a bit complicate and may appear overwhelming. However, nothing could be further from truth since these penis enlargement kits come with clear and concise directions for use.

If you are looking for a reliable and effective penis extender, X4 Labs is really a product you should take into consideration.

Does Tight Underwear Affect Your Love Life?

tight-underwearThroughout history men have desired to have a full love life including being able to satisfied their partner and being about to reproduce. The truth is while most men, can and do have a very satisfying sex life and have little problem making babies, there can be a variety of reasons why some men have difficulty in their love life. However, few men stop to consider that tight underwear may well affect both their love life and their ability to reproduce.

Old Wives Tale: Truth or Fiction

There is an old wives tale that tight underwear lowers a man sperm count. Is there any truth to this old wives tale or is it pure fiction? This tale is based on the idea that men’s testicles can become overheated and when they do they produce less sperm. The less sperm a man has, the lower his chances are of reproducing will do.

Interesting enough, while many medical professionals state that tight underwear will not heat up the testicles to the point that it will affect the sperm count, they also advise men who are trying to conceive to wear looser clothing including their underwear. So, there may be a kernel of truth to the old wives tale after all.

In addition, you need to remember that tight underwear increases friction and friction produces heat, so if you are trying to conceive then it is advisable to skip that tight underwear and wear something more comfortable and loser.

Tight Underwear and Problems with Friction

While tight underwear can create friction which can heat up the testicles, this friction may also result in other issues that can affect a man’s sex life. For starters, friction can result in your private area becoming sensitive to touch making it less pleasurable to be intimate which can decrease desire. In addition friction from tight underwear can also cause a rash which again makes makes being intimate uncomfortable for you and a bit frightening for you partner who may not be as sure as you are about what is causing that rash.

Style or Performance?

What it all comes down to that some men are going to have choose between being stylish or having a better love life. There is little doubt that tight underwear is in style and many women enjoying seeing tighter underwear on that special man, but if those tight underwear are resulting in irritation to your privates and discomfort when making love, then it is better to be a little out of style than to hamper your sex life.

Discount Extender – Cheap Penis Enlargement

Penis Extenders have been used for thousands of years not only to help men have larger penises, but also to help straighten a curved or bent penis. In the olden days, penis extenders consisted of a man either sitting for hours with his privates exposed using his hand and pulling on his penis, or attaching stone to provide traction that overtime straightened or enlarged the penis. However, sitting around for 4 or 5 hours a day exposed from the waist down did pose some difficulties and limited the activities that a man could do.

Luckily today medical penis extenders are designed so they can be worn under clothes and provide a safer and more effective way to grow a larger penis than those devices of the past. However, progress also increases the cost of these products, and today’s best and most effective medical penis stretchers can come with a hefty price tag.

Here is a look at some of the best penis enlargement extenders that offer a discount to people on a budget.

X4 Labs Penis Extender Discount

X4 labs offers a variety of packages to meet individual needs and budgets. These penis enlargement kits are medically certified to be both effective and safe and offer users a choice between using tube or comfort strap so that it can be comfortable for each person using it. 10 years of research went into designing the unique X4 Labs Quad Support System. Now, for a limited time, there is a $150.00 discount on all purchases, as well as six month guarantee, which makes this device even more

SizeGenetics Ulitame System

The SizeGenetics is medically certified and comes with 16 way comfort system which contains the device and tips on exercising your penis to help achieve maximum results. During the testing of this product some test subjects achieved as much as ½ inch in growth length in just two weeks. Again, diligent research may help you to find coupons for this device and it comes with a $50.00 discount when your purchase from the official website.


Quick Extender Pro

The Quickextender Pro is the only second generation CE (European) certified cheap penis enlargement extender on the market today. The QuickExtenderPro™ offers a convenient and comfortable double strap support and is considered to highly durable and sturdy. The extender is made from lightweight medical grade materials designed to worn for longer periods while still being comfortable. For those purchasing this product there is 20% off discount to help you save a few dollars.

proextender-discountPro Extender System

The Pro Extender was designed by a medical doctor and clinical studies have shown that the Pro Extender system can be safe and effective when used correctly and it even comes with a DVD that teaches you the proper way to use this device. Along with the device you also get an erection building pill. The Pro extender comes with a huge 50% off penis extender discount. However even with the 50% discount this system will still cost more than other great penis extenders that are now on the market.

money-back-x2Jes Extender – Double Money Back Guarantee

The Jes Extender is made from 100% medical grade hypoallergenic materials and is considered a class 1 medical device and is European CE marked. This penis enlarger has been around for 15 years and has been successfully used by 1 million men worldwide.

While the Jes Extender does not come with a discount of any kind, this device does come with a double money back guarantee which definitely makes this device worth considering.

Your Worth It

Keep in mind that while there are cheaper penis extenders available than any of these devices that come with discounts, those cheap penis enalrgement devices may not be made by using medical grade materials, or be certified to be safe or effective. It is going to be up to each individual to decide just how much they want or need a larger penis, and whether getting that larger penis is worth the price. If you are going to use a penis extender then you certainly need to understand that you should choose a high quality product that will do what it is suppose to do while being both safe and comfortable.


Intimate Hygiene and Penis Health

Practicing good personal hygiene helps to keep the body healthy by removing body oils, dead skin cells, body waste products, and reduces the ability for bacteria, viruses, and fungi to grow. These parasites thrive in an environment which is less hygienic and can cause a wide variety of health problems in addition to causing bad odors.

It is advisable to shower or bathe our bodies daily using a mild soap and warm water to keep the numbers of bacteria, viruses, and fungi in check, but what about our genitalia?

take-a-showerDoes your penis require any special treatment?

Male Genitalia

The sex organs are one of the most sensitive parts of our bodies and do require a little extra care compared to the rest of our bodies, especially if we are sexually active.

While an uncircumcised penis has a little more protection built right in against contact with substances your penis should not come into contact with, both the uncircumcised and circumcised versions require some attention.

A white substance (smegma) can build up around the various grooves in the penis throughout your day and is made up of skin oils, moisture, bacteria, and dead skin cells. This substance has a purpose as it collects all of the material you would not want entering your penis. If you allow this matter to accumulate, bacterial or fungal skin infections may occur in addition to a rather funky odor. Whether your penis is circumcised or not, it is important to be sure that this matter is washed off gently with soap and water every day.

Penis Hygiene

In an uncircumcised penis, it is necessary to gently retract the foreskin to expose all the areas of the penis prior to cleansing the area. While it is often thought that an intact foreskin is dirtier than a circumcised one, this is not the case as the foreskin helps protect the sensitive penis structures from bacteria, harsh chemicals like laundry soap, and chaffing which can leave sensitive skin more prone to infection.

Circumcised penises also require equal attention to hygiene in for maximum penis health.

intimate-hygieneIt is best to use unscented products for sensitive skin when cleaning delicate genitalia as harsher products can cause allergic reactions, burning, itching, or cause the skin to become inflamed.

Wash the area with a mild soap, rinse in warm water, then pat the area dry gently. It is best not to use any powders, deodorant, or body sprays on the genital area as they can cause allergic reactions and skin sensitivity and with proper daily washing they are totally unnecessary.

Your testicles, anus, and pubic hair should also be included in your daily wash as they can accumulate body oil, sweat, and other matter where bacteria can grow. As bacteria often produce a bad odor as a by-product, you’re definitely going to want to keep these areas clean as well as they can end up smelling as bad, or worse, than a stinky armpit or foot.

remove-pubic-hairPubic Hair Maintenance

It is sometimes helpful to trim public hair and the hair around the anus to assist with keeping these areas clean. While some people may prefer to shave these areas, this can result in nicks, cuts, razor burn, or skin infections, and it is not necessary.

A simple trim is often sufficient to make daily hygiene easier to perform, although this is not really necessary either. The hair surrounding the genitals serves a purpose, after all, and is there to trap sweat, bacteria, viruses, or foreign objects and keep them away from your most sensitive bits. As these areas of the body are particularly delicate, ensure anything you use to maintain your pubic hair is intended for that purpose and is thoroughly cleaned before and after use to prevent serious infections.

Anal Sex

It is important to also practise basic hygiene before and after anal sex. Some individuals may feel it necessary to use an anal douche prior to sex if they are concerned with cleanliness. This may also help if you are prone to feeling the need to evacuate your bowels during intercourse. Enemas or anal douches may cause trauma to the rectum which can leave you at increased risk of infection from HIV and STIs, so condoms are a must.

If you choose to use one of these products, it is advisable to wait a few hours after its use before having intercourse. It is also important to use anti-bacterial soap after coming into contact with any feces. If you do not feel that anal douching is necessary, simply slip a slightly soapy finger into the anus and rinse thoroughly to remove all soap residues which can cause irritation. Many people find soap to be too harsh for this region and prefer to simply use water. Gently and thoroughly wash your penis after any sexual contact whether you have worn protection or not to keep the area in optimal health.

Penis Health

Inspect your penis and testicles regularly for any signs of injury from chaffing, skin infection, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), or fungal infection. Get to know your penis and testicles and what they look and feel like. Check regularly for any skin discolorations or lumps in the groin or testicles which may be early signs of testicular cancer.

penis-healthShould you notice any changes in your penis or testicles, consult with your primary care physician as soon as possible. Your physician has seen it all before and has had extensive training in men’s health, so there is no need to feel embarrassed or ashamed of issues regarding genital health. Most things, when found early enough, can be successfully treated rather easily and quickly. The longer you wait with a problem, the more serious it can become.

STIs and Safety

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, it is absolutely necessary to use condoms each and every time you have intercourse with a partner to prevent STIs. People in long term monogamous relationships should be tested for STIs and receive an all clear from their doctor prior to eliminating condoms from their intimate encounters.

Condoms should be stored in their original packaging to protect them from damage which may cause them to break. Your pocket, wallet, or anywhere else which is outside of their original box is not recommended. Keep condoms stored away from heat and light which can weaken their structure. Should you have an incident where a condom breaks, shower as soon as possible to clean the area and contact your doctor for testing. While the chances are that everything is okay, it is best not to leave the health of your penis, yourself, or your partner at risk.



Dating Tips and Advice

in-loveWhether you are in the market for a light-hearted no strings attached encounter or are looking for a life-long partner the best advice and tips remain the same. Should you choose to search out this new partner through digital methods such as online dating or you prefer the more traditional approach, it is important to consider the same factors.

  • Any new adventure into dating should be thought out ahead of time. Identify what type of relationship you are looking for, what the ideal characteristics are for your partner, and evaluate what you are capable and ready to give. Knowing these three important factors will help you to find the right partner for what you are looking for.
  • It is important to be honest and upfront when you are learning about your new potential partner on both dating sites and in person. If you are only looking for a casual adventure, just say so. While this may not get you the person you are talking to at that particular moment, it is a far more ethical way to handle yourself.

There are plenty of individuals looking for no strings attached type relationships, friends with benefits, or random hookups, so misleading someone into thinking you are looking for a lifelong commitment is not only unnecessary, but it’s not very fair or nice either.

  • Present yourself in an honest way. Creating a new relationship based on a series of lies is going to be pretty hard to maintain. Over time, this will be very hard to keep track of and live up to and both parties may end up getting hurt. You want a partner who wants to be with you, not the fictitious person you’ve made up. If someone doesn’t like you just as you are, you probably shouldn’t be with them anyway and the relationship is likely to break down before long.
  • Try not to be upset if you face rejection. This is bound to happen at some point and is a natural part of dating. These individuals are not rejecting you personally as a human, they are indicating that your personality traits, wants and desires, ideals, goals, or relationship intents do not match up with theirs.

While it always hurts a little to hear that you are not what someone wants, keep in mind that the end goal is for you to find someone who wants and accepts you just as you are. This fosters and builds the best relationships and can help create strong foundations that can withstand time.


  • Be open and honest about both you as a person and what you want from a partner but be realistic. Know what things you will not accept from a person and keep those in mind when you are looking for a new partner. If you are against alcohol use, for example, dating a guy that drinks a case of beer every night is just not going to work. Don’t expect to change a person’s character; they are who they are. If you see anything that is on your no-go list, just thank them for meeting with you and move along. Be honest about who you are and what you want.
  • When meeting a new potential partner make sure you show up looking like you’ve made an effort. Shower, brush your teeth, and put on clean clothing. You don’t have to present yourself in a way that you would not appear on a daily basis, but it is important to pay attention to basic personal hygiene. Nothing is more off-putting than a date showing up smelling like yesterday’s socks with fur on their teeth. Dress appropriately for the date you are going on. If you are going to a fine dining restaurant, your attire should be different than if you were going hiking.
  • Don’t spend your time getting to know someone harping about your ex. No one wants to hear this. If they do, they’ll ask at some point. If it is absolutely necessary to divulge some aspect of this past relationship, state only what is absolutely necessary and move along. Bashing your ex only makes it appear as if you are not over the relationship, have issues with boundaries, or hold a grudge, none of which are attractive to anyone. That being said, it is best to be fully over your last relationship before looking to start a new one. While abuse or other major negative life events do have effects that will remain with you on some level or another your entire life, you should be past the point where these will limit your ability to have a successful relationship before you begin one.
  • If you’ve gone out on a date and are not interested in the person, don’t lead them to believe otherwise. No one likes to be strung along. Simply say that you are not interested and thank them for meeting with you. If you do not feel safe doing this in person, do so via whatever communication method you have been using up to this point. It is always preferable to let someone down or break up with them in person as long as it does not put you in any danger. This is much a much more respectful and considerate way to approach the subject. While it may prove to be an uncomfortable conversation, honesty and respect are the best methods of approach.
  • Arrange to meet new potential partners in a safe and public location. It is not in your best interest safety-wise to meet anyone you don’t know in a private or isolated space. While most people are harmless, we are all aware that this is not always the case. Protect yourself and meet anyone you do not know personally in advance in a public area. Arrive on your own and arrange transportation to leave on your own.

be-youIn Conclusion:

Make sure a trusted friend or family member is aware of your plans and give them the name, phone number, and area of residence (just a town or area of town if you don’t know the specifics) of the person you are meeting with. Advise this person when you will be expected back and contact them should anything change. Call or text them when you’ve arrived safely home. While this may be dismissed as being a bit paranoid, things do happen and it is better to be safe than sorry.